Sam says sweet sounds not working8/19/2023 When Vanessa and Rae have their own Gays Having Intense Conversations Under Fuzzy Blankets moment, Vanessa presents a not entirely truthful account of her argument with Lexi and the others. They also hook up one more time! Good for them. Yoly talks about how easy and effortless this has been, and I would like to remind them all that it has been three weeks and furthermore three weeks away from regular responsibilities and bills. Xander tells Yoly she wants her to decide what’s best for her. Margaux the Frenchie is very sad that Xander is leaving Yoly! These two are the only ones who do an on-camera goodbye kiss. Listen…I know two dykes who did this same thing and then actually did get married a few years later, soooo!!!!! On the beach for a day date, Xander fake-proposes to Xander with a Ring Pop. “I’ve known for a while that I love you,” Xander says. Yoly and Xander spend a date night doing tie dye, which is cute but messy to do indoors and not in the bathroom? I guess they put a sheet down, but I’m still concerned! They try to talk about the future, and Yoly brings up the fact that she falls in love easily, and Xander says she doesn’t but she also feels like they aren’t just a “byproduct of the experience” - the subtext being that this didn’t just happen because of the reality show premise. When Yoly leaves the table, Blair asks Xander if they’re in love, and Xander replies in the affirmative. ![]() Blair says a few things that make it pretty clear to me…that she does NOT like Vanessa! She says it nicely and even says “I’m not saying I fully dislike her” but…I’m picking up what you’re putting down, girl. Yoly jumps in to say they’re already on the same page for a bunch of stuff, including what they’ll feed hypothetical children (vegetarian!). Xander and Yoly get lunch with Xander’s best friend Blair and continue to seem as if they’ve been dating for many months rather than a couple weeks! Xander talks to Blair about how she is ready to get married and have a family and how Vanessa isn’t ready for that. It feels a LITTLE slut shamey, but also I do have to ask what were Vanessa’s motives for the hookup? Was it just to get off? That’s fine! Or was it to purposefully sow drama? Also…fine! By reality television standards, that basically counts as doing her job? Yoly reveals to Xander that Vanessa and Rae hooked up and that Vanessa said she has no sexual attraction to or romantic interest in Rae. Okay love birds! Here we open with an instance of Gays Having Intense Conversations Under Fuzzy Blankets, as Yoly and Xander - who I’m pretty sure has either a hickey or lipstick smudge on their neck - discuss the group night out gone wrong. As a reminder, everyone is still in the midst of their trial marriages to new people. It was at this point in the series where I decided it should be renamed Gays Having Intense Conversations Under Fuzzy Blankets. ![]() ![]() The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Episode 5 Welcome to a mega recap of episodes five through eight of The Ultimatum: Queer Love, the Netflix series that dares to ask the question: What if we get a bunch of monogamous queer couples together and pretended we invented polyamory but also made them, like, fake their way through being poly? For a refresher on the actual premise and/or a breakdown of what came in the first four episodes, revisit my previous recap.
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